Anonymous Story

Hi there, so this is my first entry. I’m married to an alcoholic. He is okay when drinking at home but not when he goes out on the weekend with the boys - which he has done almost every weekend since we got married a year ago – always showing up in the morning. Some weekends he comes back home crying, asking me to help him and wondering what is wrong with him. I think lately I have realised that he uses this to manipulate me. The past few months his drinking has really affected me (or now I know that I let it affect me) and our relationship. Its become a pattern- he goes out…, comes back in the morning…, and our house becomes a war zone. I kept it to myself for quite a while, but three months ago decided to tell the family. Of course he blamed me for sharing his secret.

I was feeling really broken one day – so shared this situation with a friend who recommended that I try Al Anon. I would say this is the best gift I have given myself. I am learning so much about looking after myself and breaking some of the patterns that have always left me feeling even more angry and resentful. My partner’s behaviour just seems to be getting worse. Recently he missed work because he was too drunk. He decided to call a therapist – and had his first session. But he went out again this past weekend – and as always showed up in the morning. I love him, and the rational part of me really wants to leave as it would be the easy thing to do. It pains me to see him struggle – thinking he can deal with it by himself. I have stopped thinking that I can help him. For now I am committed to my own recovery. I am greatly inspired by the stories and experiences in here. So thank you very much.